Just like a great many other companies who do business on the web, I get a fair few SEO Spam idiots who email me telling me how they can guarantee that they can get more traffic to my website by getting me listed on Google page 1. Ordinarily I delete these without responding but on the 17th of January I received a message that made me chuckle, so I decided I’d have a little bit of fun with it.
The email that arrived was as follows:
I am Shaan Sharma Online SEO Consultant.
As per the trends in your industry – over 80% of people search for your products/services online and buy the same. These rankings also influence other channels of sales as well
It would be recommended if you go for search engine optimization (SEO) for your site which would increase your web visibility and generate better prospects traffic to your website.
There is a simple equation that is applicable to the online world.
Ethical SEO -> Better Traffic ->Higher Sales.
Just wondering, if you would be interested improving the position of your website for the key terms your clients would be using to search your services. If yes, please let us know your website which you want to optimize. So that we can send you our work portfolio & quotations, we’ll be very happy to assist you.
In case you require any additional information, it shall be our pleasure to furnish the same. No obligations.
Do let me know if you are interested and I would be happy to give you details about our services, price list and offers and at very competitive prices.
I look forward to your reply.
Online SEO Consultant
Baiting the hook
Being in something of a playful mood (unusual, I know!) I decided that I’d reply to Shaan Sharma, SEO Consultant:
Many thanks for your email. Please could you let me know what results I could expect if I were to engage your services.
Short and sweet: it was time to wait and see what response I would get. I wasn’t really surprised that they took the bait, but 20 minutes or so later I received the following reply.
Hello Simon,Hope you are well there & thanks for showing interest on our services.
My name is Shaan Sharma Business Development Manager at WebLogics, Please see the email below for your reference. I checked your response and gone through your website but I seems that Your site is not properly working and Your Website is redirecting to www.google.com. May be You have some kind of virus or your website hacks by anyone.
Simon, We have 9 year of experience in Website Development and SEO & our team is having Good knowledge of SEO. WebLogics can help you to get more and more business through search engine. In current time, people are searching all the things by Google or other search engine, If They are looking to purchase anything So they searches the product on Google or keywords which are related to the Product.
Simon Coates Photography is related to the photography business in UK. Thinks on it, If I am your future Client then I will search Best Photographer in UK or something like that. If Your website is on Google search then you will get the deal and You will be in win win situation.
Our company is having more than 100+ client all over the world. I shared few sample work for you to check our strength.
Our Sample SEO work:
Our guarantee Regarding your project,
We offer Guarantee top page rankings of 60% of the total keywords in 6 months. Also related traffic for your website to the relevant audience. This is our strong commitment.
As soon as you confirm the project, we will send you our company invoice for payment.
Price List: SEO Plan & Packages:- Starter SEO Package- $200/Month |HI FLY SEO Package- $675/Month |Custom SEO Package – As per Requirements
Note: If you will choose onetime payment facility then we can give you 30% discount on all purchase.
First of all, it is nice to know that my WordPress plug-ins are working – my site isn’t virused; it just prevents access from certain geographical locations. It is also worth pointing out at this stage that I had Googled for “SEO Consultant Shaan” and guess what? No relevant results! Naturally, I replied to Shaan:
If you’ve got such a long track record, why is it that you don’t appear if I google for “SEO Consultant Shaan”. If you need a hand improving your SEO, please let me know.Simon
The surprise reply
I was really surprised and perplexed by Shaan’s response to my message:
Sorry to say that But Who said I am SEO consultant, I am a Business Development Manager here at A2zWebLogics (p) Ltd. Now search the “Shaan Sharma business development manager” & You will get my profile on Google.
The poor guy is clearly schizophrenic, since the first line of his original message clearly stated that he is an SEO consultant! Oddly, I’ve not had a reply to the message when I pointed out that he had said he was an SEO consultant.